A lot of things happened in the last a month or so.

I was elected as next year's ISA co-director, I struggled a bit with ISA business already, I failed info hell, I went to Seattle with my friends, I got a cold, my dad came over to see me, and, well, now I have to pack up my stuff for moving. Everything makes me rush even when I don't need to.

Where are the days that I thought of nothing and just lived by my wits? Strange as it seems, I still believe I'm 21 years old or younger sometimes. If something is wrong with me, that has something to do with my past. The days when I was proud of being an asshole. In other words, high school days. Everyone carried on. Everyone moved to the next phase. Some already got the job. I, on the other hand, don't even know why I often dream of my junior year when I believe things were nearly perfect. Nothing can be perfect, and I'm satisfied with what I'm doing here. But still, why the same dream over and over again? I wish Freud was still alive.

I'll be heading to Hawaii for internship in mid-July. I'm excited to do the teamwork with other college interns and high-schoolers. I hope I wouldn't screw up by being too bossy. Leadership is all about a balance. If you're too bossy, teammates would most likely lose interest and thus do the horrible job. If you do nothing, they would disrespect you and thus the teamwork is torn apart. Neither is good. My leadership is a bit abnormal, so I'll just wait and see whether it would still work or not. Screw the books about leadership. Screw the leadership seminars.

Life is a highway and I'm gonna ride it
Every day's a winding road yeah
My rollercoaster's got the biggest ups and downs
As long as it keeps goin' round its unbelievable

My Rollercoaster / Kimya Dawson

Yeah, I obviously need to calm down. Maybe some drinks?